“We can either recognize gay marriage or recognize a child’s right to their mother and father. We can’t do both.” -Katy Faust
Founder and President – Them Before Us
Advisory Board member – Alliance for Responsible Citizenship
Katie Faust is a warrior for the rights of children. This piece needs careful consideration and thoughtful prayers on how each of us can engage on this critical issue in a manner that emphasizes the dignity of every person made in the image of God. CLICK HERE for an interview I had with Katie on “I’m Glad You Said That”
“Why It’s Time To End Gay “Marriage”
and here’s how we’re going to do it.
By Katie Faust – Them Before Us
Adapted from Katy Faust’s National Conservative Conference speech in Sept 2025.
In July, 21 children were rescued in Arcadia, California—15 of them under the age of three. All were the legal children of Silvia Zhang and Xuan Guojun, a man who had held multiple positions within the Chinese government. The children—manufactured through surrogacy—were being raised in a hotel-like mansion complete with a reception desk greeting a steady stream of unidentified visitors.
Gay marriage did that.
Just last month, six-year-old twin boys were removed from the home of a 74-year-old single man who had acquired them through IVF and surrogacy. One of the boys—nonverbal and autistic—was sometimes confined in a cage-like upstairs loft.
Gay marriage did that.
In 2015, Marisa and Terrah Pavan had a daughter via an anonymous sperm donor and sued the state of Arkansas for the right to have both women listed on the child’s birth certificate. The U.S. Supreme Court granted their petition, legally erasing the child’s father.
Gay marriage did that.
This summer, a video of two men kissing their surrogate-born son each month of his first year went viral. Then came the reveal: one of the men, Brandon Keith Mitchell, is a convicted sex offender.
Gay marriage did that.
A just society does not force the weak to sacrifice for the strong. Yet that is what Justice Kennedy’s “constellation of benefits” has wrought.
The Legal Earthquake of Obergefell
While there had been some planetary migration over the last few decades due to no-fault divorce and the rise of reproductive technologies, the familial legal solar system had largely remained stable.
But Obergefell shifted the center of gravity by swapping the life-sustaining sun anchored in a procreative understanding of marriage, with a version of family that exalted adult identity above biological reality. The ruling prohibited any distinction between heterosexual and homosexual couples.
Thus, in the name of constitutional rights, the law had to accomplish what biology prohibits: making two adults of the same sex parents of a child. That required a total realignment of every planet in the marriage and family solar system.
The Two Pathways to Parenthood – And How They Were Undone
Historically, the right to take custody of an infant has been recognized through only two pathways: biology and adoption.
The first pathway exists because, whether due to natural law or evolutionary biology, biological parents are statistically the safest, most connected to, most protective of, and most invested in their children. In contrast, unrelated adults dramatically increase the risk of abuse and neglect. Sociologist Brad Wilcox puts it plainly: the most dangerous place for a child in America is in the home of an unrelated man left to care for them alone. Biology is a child’s first safeguard.
The second pathway—adoption—exists because a just society seeks to heal the wound of orphanhood by placing children into safe, loving families. Through extensive screening, background checks, and vetting, the state attempts to replicate the natural protections of biological parenthood.
Two pathways. One based on nature. One based on justice. Both centered on the child.
But in the orbit of gay marriage, both of those child-centered pathways—biology and adoption—have been deemed discriminatory. The answer has been to end “natural parenthood.”
The biological pathway is oppressive because two men or two women can never both be biologically related to the child. The adoption pathway is offensive because requiring background checks and home studies made some same-sex couples feel “lesser than” and “unequal.”
So a new planet was added to the legal universe: intent-based parenthood. If an adult can assemble sperm, egg, and womb, and “intend” to parent the child, they get the baby. Biologically related or not. Pedophile or not. Retiree or not. Foreign national or not. Intent-based parentage is child trafficking disguised as constitutional rights.
Gay marriage did that.
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